Your Brain.
In The Cloud.
Why carry around 3 pounds of inefficient biological matter when you could host it on our servers?
*Physical brain removal handled by our certified partners
Why carry around 3 pounds of inefficient biological matter when you could host it on our servers?
*Physical brain removal handled by our certified partners
Your consciousness will only experience brief moments of non-existence during scheduled maintenance windows.
Having deep thoughts? We'll automatically allocate more compute. Mindless scrolling? We'll scale down to save you money.
Think faster with edge locations worldwide. Your memories, delivered with minimal latency.
Never lose a memory again. Restore to any previous version of yourself. Tuesday's you was better? Roll back.
"I haven't felt my body in 3 years but my response time to Slack messages has never been better."
— Former Human, Current Customer
Pay only for the consciousness you use
Our proprietary extraction process is completely painless. You won't feel a thing. Ever again.
Per our Terms of Service, all uploaded content becomes property of Hosted Brain Inc. But why would you want it back?
Your thoughts are encrypted with military-grade algorithms. We definitely don't train our AI on them.
We'll automatically delete your least accessed memories. You probably didn't need that childhood anyway.
Join thousands of satisfied customers who've already made the switch to cloud-based consciousness.
Begin Upload ProcessBy clicking, you agree to our Terms of Service, Privacy Policy, and acknowledge that existence is a subscription service.